Magdeburg, Foto: H.S.
USA - 26.10.2008 - von diverse
Some new, some old, still good for a few laughs ... collected for you by a member of the office against agediscrimination. Please don´t forget to mention!
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I´m 83 years old now and I´m just full of aches and pains. I know you´re about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn´t need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don´t know," he said. "She´s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they´re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I´m in the kitchen?" he asks.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Don´t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I´d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so´s not to forget it?" He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
"I´d also like whipped cream. I´m certain you´ll forget that, write it down?" she asks.
Irritated, he says, "I don´t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where´s my toast?"
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